Christine’s Testimony

When I was 14 I was saved in a Lutheran church.  I remember being white knuckled and felt the draw of the Spirit to go to the altar.  It was the most wonderful experience I ever had.  I ran home and could not wait to tell my parents “I am saved! I am saved! Jesus saved my soul!”  I went into the house and my mom knew immediately something was different about me.  She said “What’s going on with you?”  I said, “I got saved today! And I feel so good!”  My parents immediately forbid me to go to church and said that they could not have one of us “that way” and not the others.  She said “We will all be one way or the other”.  It was clear I was outnumbered.  I remember the life just draining out of me and I sobbed.  The pastor came by my house to try to talk to my parents and they told him to leave and to stop “brainwashing their kid”.  From that moment on it seemed Satan would have a field day on my life.  I became angry with my parents and rebelled in any way I could think of, drinking, taking drugs, acting out, skipping school, sneaking out of the house, etc. I rebelled against God and His law and His ways.  Within a few short years became so out of control that my mom and step father had to kick me out of the house and send me off to live with my Dad and step mother.  I lived a normal life from there.  I got a responsible job, I joined the Air National Guard, I went to war, I got married, I had 2 children, I advanced up the career ladder in Human Resources.  Still drinking, but it was ‘controlled’.   I would be drawn to God back and forth throughout the years of 21 years old to 33 years old.  I would still always choose my desire for self pleasure over the things of God.  Then one day God called me by name and told me to read His word.  He has a plan for my life.  I immediately went to find my bible and started reading His Word.  I would devour it for 16 hour days and for 3 ˝ years straight.  I could not get enough of it.  I kept begging God to remove the desire to drink from me because I was feeling bad about it while reading His word.  I would stop and start, stop and start.  It would be years of struggle.  I begged my husband at the time to come with me to church, to read His word with me, to devote His life to Christ.  He told me that was “my way” and not “his kind of thing”.  I remember thinking “Why do I always come up against these types of people?”  I went the other way and got angry with God again!  My drinking led to pill popping, pill popping led to divorce, divorce led to losing my mind, losing my mind led to depression, depression led to trying to commit suicide, and that led to a short stay in the hospital.   I still had not told God I was sorry for all the sin in my life and therefore the pattern continued until one day I decided I would get in my car and go pick up my precious daughter from school.  What was I thinking?  I wasn’t…..  The thought of it makes me sick inside that I would be so out of control to do such a thing.  It would seem that I would not be picking up my daughter in that condition.  Half way down my street I swerved off the road, flipped my car three times and would walk away from the accident with only a few bruises and a broken heart.   I was arrested for DUI . The cop and a witness on the scene looked at my car and looked at me and said “Do you believe in Jesus”?  I said, “Yes, I do…”.  The witness said that he could see the hand of God place me safely on the ground.  The car was totaled….I should be dead they all said… I had hit rock bottom.  I had no job, no car, no friends, no husband, no self respect and now, I was completely alone and broken to pieces inside.  I fell to my knees in the middle of my living room and wanted to die.  I screamed out to God “PLEASE HELP ME! WHY AM I THIS WAY??” He did not answer me.  It would be a few more days of brokenness that I would experience Him on my back deck.  I had not been able to open my bible for years that I fell away from God.  I opened my bible and went to Psalm 143.  I started reading it out loud and sobbing uncontrollable!  A wind, out of no where, came up all around me and started to circle around me and I could feel Him fill me from bottom to top.  At that moment, I have never turned back and I have been completely delivered from all addictions and my life transformed.  All the things satan destroyed in my life, Jesus has restored my life!  God gave me a marriage that I had always dreamed of.  God sent me my soul mate and life partner in whom I cherish everyday.  He sent me one of the most patient, beatuiful husband.  Together we are dedicated to do the work of the Lord and to glorify Him in our lives.  Jesus saved my soul!  Jesus saved my life!  You can never be too far from God that He can not step in and change your life.  I am 100% sold out for Jesus Christ!  He deserves all honor, glory and praise!!